Sausages Journalism Culture Blogging.
March 19, 2008
If your in the business of making sausages (or anything practical like that) then here is a great opportunity for you. For a modest fee The Academy will turn you into a journalist. Apart from the increase in salary that this will afford you there are other benefits which you may not be aware of.
For instance , as a journalist you may claim to be a champion of truth . You don’t have to be a good journalist to make this claim nor do you have to have even the vaguest interest in truth. You can also create the illusion that you are intelligent and most people will accept it as fact regardless of how stupid you might be. You can , in short , pass yourself off as a cultured chap with all that that implies. You can even sell your soul and still be applauded for it. Now if you decide not to be a journalist but to remain at the sausage factory then its a different matter altogether. In the latter case you may find yourself being labeled a ‘racist’ or ‘homophobic’ without you even having expressed an opinion on these matters.
Of course you don’t have to take up journalism. You could just as well take a crash course in poetry or film making. Any of these options will transform your situation…
You could of course bypass The Academy , keep the money in your pocket and just learn the ‘lingo’. You could practice in front of the mirror. Just stand in front of a mirror and keep repeating the stock phrases such as ‘multiculturism’ or ‘the right to choose’ or anything else that comes into your head. You don’t have to actually understand anything about these things as no one will notice or even care. But it’s important that you look yourself in the eye without blinking or fidgeting or anything like that. Hence the need to practice in front of the mirror.
Now if your one of those people who find themselves becoming sexually aroused in the company of young people then I definitely recommend becoming a poet……as a sausage maker you’ll only get your head kicked in but if you can string a few words together your on the horses back…
You might even decide to take up the blogging. But you won’t win any points in the Irish Blog Awards as a sausage maker. There are , by the way , no Irish sausage blogs….this in spite of the fact that there is something very appealing about a sausage. A sausage is a sausage. There is something very honest about it. It is , what it says on the label. You can rely on a sausage…And a man who makes sausages is a man deserving of honour.
Rare Vinyl Tubby Hayes LP Ebay Caveat Emptor
March 18, 2008
I got this Tubby Hayes vinyl album from Ebay today. It cost me a little over 100 euros but when I took it out of the sleeve to check it I felt like killing the guy who sold it to me. Like many of the LPs that I get from Ebay it was in pretty bad condition. Apart from a liberal sprinkling of scratches it also had the track-marks of several bad needles on it.
I suppose that 3 out of every 4 LPs that I get on Ebay go straight into the bin , which means that in real terms those albums that I actually keep are costing me about three times what I paid for them…if you get my drift. If , like me your buying 5 or 6 albums a week this can involved throwing a hell of a lot of money into the bin…..
……..so let the buyer beware…..
The album shown above is quite rare so it’s nice to have a copy in any condition. In fact if someone were to offer me twice what I paid for it I would turn them down , but still ….it’s in dreadful condition….The other side of the coin however is that without Ebay the chances are that I would never have come across a copy in the first place. British jazz of the Hayes period is a specialised maket and a small one at that and the print run for these LPs would have been very small.
One small point while I’m here….This LP would have a catalogue price of something in the region of 25 euros but to buy a mint copy on Ebay you would have to bid up to 500 euros or even more so don’t put too much reliance on the Record Collector Price Guide. It is , as the title says a guide only…..
The Couriers of Jazz London LTZ -L 15188
PS: If anyone out there has LPs like this to sell please let me know.
Hit My Ugly Blog Hit Me Hit Me Hit Me
February 17, 2008
I’ve just had quite a few hits on my blog as a result of someone describing my blog as ugly. They left a link to my blog so I traced it back to “Geeks Are Sexy“. Now I wasn’t worried that someone didn’t like the look of my blog , after all it’s better than not being noticed. In fact they chose to use a link back to a cartoon I had posted from “Cartoon Stock” so everyone gets to smile when the actually reach my blog so the ‘feel good’ factor hopefully will come into play here.
A few day’s prior to this a blogger put a link to my blog on “De.lic.ous” because he was not impressed by the fact that I had shown sympathy for the Moors Murder Ian Brady which of course had the effect of leading even more people to my blog. According to Problogger you can make up to $10,000 a day , yep , I did say $10,000 per day by just being ugly. But don’t start getting idea’s……. It’s hard to fake it. Your either naturally ugly or your not. ….’and now you’ll have to excuse me while I go check those stats again.
347 MOD Laptops For Sale. Free False Identities Included.
January 21, 2008
It has just now (21/01/2008) been announced on BBC News 24 that 347 laptops belonging to the British Ministry of Defense have been stolen since 2004….I have no link to this story yet as the news is just breaking but this is nothing short of mind boggling. Apart from information in relation to credit cards etc contained on these laptops they have sufficient personal information to created several thousand false identities… I’ll add a link as soon as possible….in the meantime there’s no need for me to comment any more on this madness…. Here is an earlier report about just one theft of a laptop.
HERE IS A LINK TO THIS STORY . I will update it as more details become available.
The Happy Surfer . Mangle the World Wild Web. Randon Search.
January 19, 2008
I exist , I’m a real person….I’m out there , a small part of this universe….and I know this because I found myself on Mangle…
For random surfing of the W.W.W. got to Mangle. If your stuck for something to write about go to Mangle. For a dictionary definition of the word look here…...http://m-w.com/dictionary/mangle .
To find the Mangle site itself go to …..http://www.mangle.ca/archive.php
and click on the BLACK CAT.
I have no idea as to the quality or reliability of this link but you may wish to try it . Just scroll to the bottom of this web page and you will see the link.
http://4.livefooty.doctor-serv.com/sat8.12/Hatton_Mayweather.html
Update: Now that the fight is over you can put this link in your favourites. You can then use it to watch all your football matches. I watched the Hatton fight and the reception was perfect….give it a try next time you want to watch some football…..or anything of that sort.
The Intelligent Womans Blog aka The Mad Knitter. Eric Clapton.
December 5, 2007
Every so often I like to mention a blog that grabs my attention and pass the word along. MY KNITTING MACHINES AND ME is one of those blogs. I stumbled across it some time ago , why I don’t know as I have little , or rather no interest in knitting. But for some strange reason or other I found myself reading it …….there’s something very therapeutic about the sound of needles clicking. Or just the idea of needles clicking…..
I have no reason to believe that this lady is in fact mad….but I like to think of her as being just a little bit strange…….when she’s not knitting she sometimes plays the guitar..( and why not ?).
As Humphrey Bogart said in “The Desperate Hours “..”Clickity , clickity , click..”
Apart from this video she has some more videos on knitting and other stuff on LIVEVIDEO.
blogging When Sky Odyssey was first released on Playstation 2 it was panned by just about all the critics and most game sites gave it bad reviews but in spite of that it began to turn up in the lists of “Best little know games “. One of the most mellow games ever made , it’s just perfect for when you are totally stressed out. It’s a rather simple game with no shootings or explosions and that I suppose is why it wasn’t rated at it’s launch. This video does not show it at it’s best but will give you an idea of what it’s like.
You can find 4 short videos of the game at the official game site. Well worth checking out….!!!!.
How To Get Free Satellite TV . Free Irish UK Satellite TV.
November 28, 2007
If your tired of paying for you TV stations then why not change over to Free To Air. All you need is a set top box and a satellite dish. Contrary to popular belief you don’t have to put the dish up outside you house. You can , if your window is facing in the right direction , just have it sitting on a chair or propped up almost anywhere and point it in the direction of the satellite. The whole thing will cost about 100 Euros ( appx. £70) and will save you a small fortune in the long run. It does not require any technical knowledge to set it all up and can be done in the space of a few minutes.
You can buy the equipment in any good store such as Maplins . The only restriction on having a system like this is that you have to be withing range of the satellite. I’m on the east coast of Ireland and get perfect reception. You can check with the dealer if the area where you live is covered.
One important point to remember. DO NOT GET A SMALL DISH. You may be tempted to buy a smaller dish to save money (or space) but it’s a false economy. The bigger the dish the more stations you can get. Also , the bigger the dish the easier it is to tune in to the satellite ( if for instance it’s sitting on the floor or on a chair where it’s likely to be moved).
Oxford Debating Society told to Shut Up
November 24, 2007
The Oxford Debating Society has become yet another victim of Political Correctness. They invited David Irving and Nick Griffin to speak before them but no sooner had they issued the invitation than just about everyone else including the British Defense Sectary began pulling out. Irving recently completed a three year prison sentence in Austria for Holocaust denial. Griffin is leader of the National Front.
It’s hard to know how one should react to all this…..there is an understandable inclination to laugh at the whole thing but there is really nothing funny about any of this. Not only is it now an offense to question the validity of certain historical events, it might , if some had their way , at some point be illegal to even debate the issue of free speech in relation to these ideas.
…………….and while all this is going on we are being told that child porn and such like things on the World Wide Web cannot be removed because of issues such as the freedom of information….
……and now please excuse me while I go find a wall to bang my head against.
