JOHN SAMUEL HUMBLE WEARSIDE JACK
August 21, 2010
It’s 12:00 at night and I’m sitting here listening to Nat King Cole on my record deck. I like old vinyl …even the feel of it. Today I bought an old Gene Vincent LP in town and that was my excitement for the day. I go into the record stores every day and wander around…… That’s about all I do. I often feel I should be ‘doing something’ – but what ? It’s strange really , the fact that I don’t know anybody. It is I suppose remarkable…. – It doesn’t bother me , at least no more than anything else but it is rather strange – sort of. But that’s neither here nor there. So what’s all this got to do with John Samuel Humble ? Well , nothing really ….nothing in particular.
He was on TV tonight , a programme about him that is and it got me thinking. He seems a rather tragic figure , a lonely man – a loser , to use a somewhat cruel phrase but for all that his hoax was a great success. If it wasn’t for DNA and modern science they never would have caught him. There was quite a lot of footage of him being interrogated and much of the time he did not look too well , his hands appeared to be shaking ….. His crime of course was serious but he looked more like a victim himself. I do like the man’s name ; John Samuel Humble has a certain ring to it - It would be a great name for a serial killer. He looked defeated , in fact every photo of the man I’ve seen reinforced the idea I have of him as a victim. But the actual hoax , the tape that is , sounded very convincing. Why he did it we just don’t know and it’s likely that he doesn’t know either. He was surprised and even frighted at the success of the whole thing and went so far as to phone the police to warn them that it was in fact a hoax. You could say he was a bit too clever for his own good.
But he’s famous now. He’s immortalised himself. He’s a celebrity of sorts. If he was a different kind of man he could ( when he get’s out of prison) probably make a good living out of being Wearside Jack. As it is a lot of other people will no doubt manage to capitalise on the whole thing. He seems to have had a sad and lonely life and there is no reason to belive that that will change when he gets out. He’ll go down in history as some sort of unfortunate / dimwit / fool …..or worse. There is a Wearside Jack on Facebook but it’s just some rock group ( they’re probably useless). Wearside Jack/ John S. Humble is famous. His name /names will outlive ours. He’s not quite ‘cool’ but he’s made his impression. So – so what. What’s the point ? What does all this prove ?
If all this had happened in the good old days Humble would have become a caution. Parents would be telling their children , ” If you don’t go asleep Wearside Jack will get you” or “If you don’t eat your greens I’ll have to tell Jack”. If it had occurred in the 30′s in the USA someone would probably have written a ballad about the man. Sonia Sutcliffe meanwhile has moved back into the home she shared with Peter Sutcliffe. She’s probably there right now all alone in one of the upstairs bedrooms looking out the window like some latter day Anthony Perkins. It’s strange that she should have become a stress councillor of all things, but there are a lot of strange people out there aren’t there.
STEVE BROOKSTEIN STAR MAN X FACTOR TWITTER
August 16, 2010
Steve Brookstein has given yet another interview this time to the Star. I mentioned Steve’s habit of giving the wrong kind of interviews in my blog a while back but he obviously does not read it…….It ( the Star article) is a short and badly edited thing which serves no purpose other than to remind everyone yet again that Steve is an X Factor has-been. Personally I don’t think he is a has-been or anything like it but interviews like this just make Brookstein come across as some kind of celebrity freak. It’s bad enough that he keeps giving these interviews but the only reason I heard about it in the first place is that he’s tweeting about it on his Twitter page.
And just in case you didn’t know it…..Rowetta has been sending him nasty messages..!!!!! Of course the only reason I know this is that he also mentions this on his Twitter page. I don’t understand all this….Brookstein seems intent on perpetuating this image of himself as some kind of odd ball or malcontent…..or something. The man is incorrigible ….I think his fans may have to take a contract out on him to save him from himself. Just a few weeks ago he was in trouble for something he said about the Jedward twins on his Twitter page. Now that a new season of the X Factor is due to hit our screens there will be no stopping the man….
Mind you , he seems happy enough – and none of us are perfect……But happiness is a transitory thing. A man might smile today and cry tomorrow. He’s married to the jazz singer Eileen Hunter and has a son ……but one of these days he’ll mention the name Simon Cowell once too often and she’ll stand up , give him a venomous glare and say , ” Right ! , Right I have enough……” . She’ll kick the dog , grab the child , slam the door and go to her sisters …… Steve will be left , on his own looking at the walls wondering where it all went wrong – asking himself over and over , ” Was it something I said “? He’ll sit there all alone wondering what to do. He’ll wear the carpet out and give himself a headache going over and over those last few fateful moments — …….he may even shed a tear or two. He’s not made of stone after all. He might take to the drink ! But whatever happens he will cope after a fashion as we all do. Life will go on as it does……He will , in the fullness of time , pull himself together ……
………..and taking the bull by the horns he will do what he does best . He’ll go out and give another interview. Oh yes I can see it all. But God help us it might even be worse than that. She may not leave him at all , instead she might be driven to murder…….She might end up standing in the dock , throwing herself at the mercy of the court while child services drag the poor child to the orphanage….I can see it all….. The papers of course will have a field day and Steve ( good old Steve) will give a few more interviews. Like I said I can see it all.
Life is funny. One thing follows another and before we know where we are we’re lying on our backs wondering where it all went wrong. We all lose in the end. Happiness comes and happiness goes. Time passes. Sometimes we learn from life and sometimes we don’t and sometimes it doesn’t matter either way. Some take the high road and some take the low road…..and others get lost along the way. ( I should have been a philosopher). Little is constant in this life. There are no guarantees. We can be sure of nothing. We cannot tell the future but the future will happen and somewhere in that future there there will be many more Steve Brookstein interviews. He’ll probably give an interview on his death-bed.
Steve is being air brushed out of X Factor history though they claim it’s just a technical issue. No doubt he will explain it all to us in some forthcoming interview ( he he he). HIs activity on Twitter is causing quite a stir but to be honest I find it very hard to figure out the whole twitter thing. All those private/public conversations where everyone seems to know what’s going on except me……But by all accounts there’s great fights going on over there. ‘Better than East Enders so they say. Beer bottles and curses flying all over the place. Great fodder for the tabloids. A bitter old man , that’s what some are calling him. But Steve knows how to handle such people……and we can all follow the drama on Twitter. It’s great , isn’t it. Where would you get it ? – there are people out there who would pay good money for a ringside seat to all this but they’re getting it all for free on Twitter……”You tell ‘em Steve , tell them all to go and have a good f***…..we’ll shout support from the cheap seats. ” Kick their heads in Steve” , “Rip their hearts out” , “yeah , you show ‘em Steve”.
Mind you , I’ve got no interest in such venial stuff …..I’m just remarking on the state of the world , Steve Brookstein’s world that is. Personally I find it all a little uncouth. I have to practically force myself to check his Twitter page. And all this is taking its toll - I’m an emotional wreck ……I might end up back on the Valium. But does Steve care about any of this ? Not on your proverbial Nelly. Is he worried about me and my palpitations ? Not a bit of it. Meanwhile here I am sitting in my gloomy little flat listening to , “40,000 things’ —” It’s all turned out nice again just the way we planned / it’s all good / it worked out in the end” — Indeed ! But who am I to decide what’s the right and wrong in all of this. I am , as they say, a person of no consequence. Some regard me as no better than a common fool but most are indifferent to any opinion I might have about anything. Oh yes , it’s a hard life. I would give a few interviews myself if anyone asked …..but no one is asking. Oh dear , oh dear. Where did I go wrong ?
ANOTHER MEZZO D10 FOLDING BIKE REVIEW
August 14, 2010
Some time ago I wrote a rather harsh review of the Mezzo D10 folding bike. I have been tempted many times to delete that review but have not done so as it was an honest review at the time when I first bought my Mezzo and was a fair reflection of how I felt about the bike at the time. However , that was then and this is now.
The Mezzo is a well-engineered bike. Like a rollex watch it is perhaps over engineered and lacks the classic simplicity of the Brompton. It’s less easy to fold and to be honest I never fold mine as it’s just too much hassle. If folding is your priority then get a Brompton but if want a bike that rides like a ‘real’ bike get a Mezzo. Not only does it ride like a real bike but it does what electric bikes claim to do – , it flattens out hills. The Mezzo is , without doubt , the easiest bike to ride that I personally have ever ridden ( and I’ve ridden just about everything). It’s low gear ratio means that going up hills is a doddle. It requires much less effort cycling against the wind or tackling those long inclines that take it out of you on your way home……it has in fact all the advantages of an Ebike without any of the downside. But you will find that gear ratio frustrating for the first few weeks…..It leaves you feeling that you are permanently in the wrong gear , your feet peddle at a rate just marginally faster than you feel is ‘right’. In my case it took a couple of months to feel normal on the bike and at times I felt like getting off and giving it a good kick ( which should help to explain the bad review I initially gave it ). It’s quite a fast bike for a folder and of course the fact that your not knackered going up hills etc means that you still have plenty of energy left when everyone else is beginning to wilt……so you can go further and keep going further…….
It’s a nice looking bike and you’ll get lots of compliments and envious glances so buy a good , a very good lock if you want to keep it. As I’ve said , it’s over – engineered and removing the front wheel requires a degree in engineering 0r at least the patience to read the manual (neither of which I have) -but how often do we actually need to remove the wheels from our bikes ? . The tyres are not the best ( I’ve had 5 punctures in 10 months) so you may have to spend some money on a good pair and of course you’ll want a Brooks saddle so that another 70 euros or so. But the Mezzo is almost 700 euros cheaper than an entry level Birdy and is probably a better bike and is a much better bike to ride than the Brompton. You will not find many Brompton owners challenging you to a marathon run….. For a more detailed review of the D10 try this …….
BROMPTON BIKE STOLEN DUBLIN BICYCLE MEZZO
August 15, 2009
My Brompton bike was stolen today in Parliment Street , Dublin. I’ve only had it for about 8 weeks having had my previous bike stolen just a month or so before that. It cost me 1,200 Euros which was just about all the money I had so now I’ll just have to start saving all over again. That’s 5 bikes in all that I’ve had stolen. I’m not exactly lucky , am I ?
I reported it to the police but I don’t suppose I’ll ever see it again. It was probably stolen by some ‘yob’ type and by tomorrow it will have been bought (at some market/car boot ) by a very ‘respectable’ person. I spent years working as a market trader and would , every day of the week , refuse to buy certain items that people brought to me , items that were obviously stolen ( you can ALWAYS tell ) but no sooner would I say No than there would be someone only too willing to buy …..and more often than not they were the ‘respectable’ type.
If you happen to see it around please email me or leave a message here. The unfortunate fact is that most people are not honest. Most of my friends for instance buy their tobacco on street corners from people who probably are in the drugs business and think of me as a fool for getting mine at full price in a shop. I’ve even know people who’s children have died from Heroin who still buy their tobacco from such people.!!!! …..
I don’t known how many bike are stolen every day but it’s probably hundreds and of course they never steal a cheap bike. The financial cost over the space of a year must be huge but it’s only regarded as petty crime. I have a bit of a phobia about public transport ( panic attacks etc ) so was reliant on the bike …….Oh well , there’s always someone worse off….. There is a 500 euros reward for the recovery of this bike.
6 September 09 update: since writing this I have bought another bike , a Mezzo d 10 . You can read a review about it here.
BROMPTON M6L FOLDING BIKE NANO TURKISH GREEN
July 23, 2009
I recently bought myself a Brompton folding bike. The Brompton is one of those things that you either love or hate and personally I love my Brompton. As you can see from the photo they fold quite small and can fit snugly just about anywhere and are ideal for anyone living in a flat.
They are not cheap and you can expect to pay 1.000 euros or more but as it’s a folder it means you can take it with you anywhere you go so you don’t have to leave it locked to some lamp post where it’s likely to be stolen. You can buy them in Dublin from Cycleways but it takes about 6 or 8 weeks from the time you order as they are custom made. Some people positively hate the bike but this may have to do with the fact that it came on the market around the same time as the mobile phone and was something of a Yuppie accessory in those days. They are relatively light and very portable and if you have the money you can go for a titanium version which is even lighter. If you have a spare 1.000 euros after buying the titanium upgrade you can get a small Nano electric motor to fit on the bike.
Since posting this my Brompton has been stolen
THE GARDEN OF IZZIE KLINGELS
September 28, 2008
I’ve never met Izzie Klingels but I have a great fondness for Garden. In fact if it wasn’t for dear Izzie I wouldn’t even be aware of Garden. It was she who brought me ‘into the garden’….I’m listening to Agnes Bernelle as I write this , she’s spinning around on my record deck and it seems appropriate that I should be listening to her when writing of Izzie…
I am , I suppose , what might be best described as a sad old man with no friends….that’s not self pity just simple plain fact. I live on my own and sleep on the floor of a one room flat here in Dublin. I have better things to do with my money than buy a bed and apart from that I have not got the room for one and so I sleep on the floor…..and I sleep like an innocent……
When I get out of bed every morning , which is to say when I get up off the floor and have my morning coffee I find that I have nothing to do so I wander out my front door and head for the record shops of Dublin.. If it wasn’t for the record shops I would go mad…. I put one foot in front of the other and eventually end up in one of the few vinyl emporiums left in this city. I’m an old time record collector….My hair is grey and as the song has it ,” I ache in the places where I used to play”. My clothes are all worn and shabby as all my spare money goes on vinyl and I am I suppose well known in these shops…..and I’m always on my own. But then again , who needs friends when you’ve got the vinyl ? But who cares about any of this…
To get to what I wanted to tell you…There is a shop in Dublin called Road Records which specalises in independant (!!) record labels and I was in there one day about a year ago ( I’m in there every day of course ). It’s a small shop which sells a lot of unremarkable modern music. And it sells this to unremarkable people. People who live in modern apartment blocks on the river. You know the sort I mean. No lost rebels here . No rebels without a cause or otherwise. The economy is doing well (even with the recession) and so are they….they all want to be just like daddy ( and they are , they are ).
Well , like I say , I was in there one day looking for something special. I was leafing through the shelves of Indie (!!!!!) vinyl as I had done a thousand times when I came acrosss this 12 inch ep by someone called Garden. It was the cover that caught my attention of course. I held it in my hand. I turned it around and looked at it from different angles. I put it down and then picked it up……and then I looked at it again.
I bought the record needless to say. Four hippy/psych type songs that might have been THE hippy anthem if the record had been made 40 years ago. It’s a gem. A classic of the first order. Four wonderfull songs with titles like , Yew Tree and Dandelions…..
” I am the yew tree
I am the yew tree
I am the yew tree
yes.”
I play it over and over. And when I’m not actually playing it I’m holding it in my hand , wondering who that girl is. She has her back to us and yet seems somehow sad…… She’s the child , the brainchild of Izzie Klingels. She came out of Izzie Klingels head. How long was she there ? And how did she get there in the first place ? When Izzie was going about her business , standing in the supermarket checkout , chatting with her facebook friends , was this little girl locked up in her head all the time. And late at night when Izzie was asleep and all was dark and quiet was the little girl gently tapping , tapping … “Let me out , let me out “
And why Izzie , why do you abandon your children in indie record shops. There is a myspace and web site but these tell us nothing. Why have you sent this sad garden child out into such a cruel cruel world ?
TUBBY HAYES LONDON JAZZ QUARTET TEMPO/EMBER VINYL LP
September 25, 2008
This LP was originally released on the Tempo Label. This then is a reissue on the Ember Label. There is no date on this reissue but it would have been pressed within a few years of the original probably in the late sixties. I picked this up on Ebay just a few weeks ago but I have forgotten what I paid for it (I buy a lot of LP’s) but I’m sure I handed out a little over 100 euros.
The music is not quite typical of Hayes. It’s not driving heavy jazz or anything like that. It’s the sort of music you might have heard on the soundtrack of many British kitchen sink movies of the sixties. If you were not a fan you might brush it aside as library music. All the tracks are arranged by Tony Crombie and as far as I can remember about half are written by him also. The line up is….Tony Crombie , Tubby Hayes , Alan Branscombe and Jack Fallon.
The music is ‘tight’ and very sixties and distinctly British and as I’ve said it’s not unlike British film music of the period….but it’s quality stuff and if you like classic ‘modern’ jazz you will love this. It’s the sort of album that will grow on you. You might feel it’s rather conservative for sixties jazz and that it’s not particularly exciting but you will find yourself putting it on the turntable more and more…..just to try to make up you mind if you like it or not…and it will grow on you in spite of it not being ‘progressive’……
Check out my other posts on Vinyl HERE.
Towards Integration. A City Framework
June 23, 2008
The Dublin City Development Board (along with some others) have just launched “Towards Integration. A City Framework” , a plan to aid the integration of immigrants into the wider community of Dublin. What it aims to achieve is however not very clear. Part of this plan is concerned with fighting racism (presumable YOUR racism) and the ignorance from which it stems (YOUR ignorance).
I first became aware of this campaign this morning when I went into Dublin City Council’s offices to pay my rent. Having passed the ample evidence of homelessness on our city street I arrived at the council offices only to be confronted by a whole display of literature on integration but nothing of course on homelessness…in fact the council are , by selling off our housing stock , not only making the homeless situation much worse but of course making things rather difficult for immigrants as many of them need social housing as they cannot afford private rented accommodation. (which is not surprising as many have to work for the minimum wage).
As I say , I saw all this literature and took the trouble to read it but it was all a bit vague ( except the bits about ignorance ,YOURs of course). Is all this to mean that those middle class journalits/politicians who engaged in ‘white flight’ are to be sent back to where they came from? Are the middle classes going to be forced into integrating ? No , of course not. It’s YOU , the ignorant , racist , bigoted working class who must integrate.
But the real question that needs to be asked is what is behind all of this. Why this constant bombardment , why this endless insistence that we must be ever vigilant against racism when the vast majority of immigrants make a point of saying that they have never been subjected to any kind of racism ?. In spite of the propaganda to the contrary the fact is that racism is not common in Ireland nor is it likely to ever be a problem . The working class of Britain , many of whom have been marginalised , who have seen their jobs disappearing , their wages cut , who have often been subjected to the worst kind of racism themselves have never voted in any significant numbers for the National Front. This however can not be said for the middle classes who will vote extreme right wing at the drop of a hat if they feel they are loosing out. It is interesting to note in passing there are very few convictions for racism in Britain where a white indigenous British person is the victim in spite of the fact that there are now many ‘no go’ areas for white people where if for example you are not a Muslim you will not get accommodation or employment and where in many cases you will be asked to leave the neighbourhood….. This is not some racist chant but a serious question that is constantly asked but never answered. Why this constant , endless , relentless attack on working class ‘racism’ and ignorance’ in spite of any real evidence to back it up and much evidence that contradict all this ?. Why this atavistic compulsion to shout “racist’. Indeed , as I have often remarked , the attitude in the media and elsewhere towards the working class is becoming more and more racist itself…
I am not a racist. I say this not as some kind of defence but simple as a statement of fact. It’s just a fact quite independant of what anyone might or might not think. I have never had a racist thought in my head. And no one had ever suggested that I might be one untill quite recently. And most important of all , no one has ever called me a racist to my face. It’s not that I might hit them but more the fact that it would make no sense for anyone who knows or has met me to think , even for a second , that I might be racist. I am not offended by those who call me a racist. Why should I feel offended by someone else’s ignorance ? But if such a person has political power and sets about depriving me of my right to free speech then I have a problem with that. And when such people come togeather and pass right wing laws in the name of ‘human right’ but laws which have more to do with the ‘free movement of labour’ than anything else then I have an even greater problem.
When these same people demand that I respect anti semites I have an even greater problem.
I am called a racist and a fool as I have said by people I’ve never met. Journalist and politician who would not dare to say it to my face. And this has to do with power. They are powerful , strong , while I am weak. Bullies always act from a position of strengtht. Bullies , who let fall from their lips the foulest insults against a whole class , who constantly parade themselves as ‘liberal’ while building an economy on cheap labour and landlord-ism , bullies who condemn a class because they don’t feel assured enough to argue their case face to face , bullies who presume to pass laws to protect you against your own supposed ignorance !!! ……..what can one say of such people ?.
In the USA torture is now legal. The implications of ‘waterboarding‘ go far beyond the activities of the individuals involved in this dreadful practice. America has inflicted upon itself a moral blow from which it may never recover. When we in Ireland , for whatever reason accept the practice of anti sematism in mosques or cultural centres (out of fear perhaps at being labeled racist) we loose the moral high ground. Words are important. And certain words (racist/homophobic) should not be devalued through misuse or downright abuse. When we devalue words in this way we run the very real risk of devaluing humanity. Recent history has some dreadful examples of this.
Rare Vinyl Tubby Hayes LP Ebay Caveat Emptor
March 18, 2008
I got this Tubby Hayes vinyl album from Ebay today. It cost me a little over 100 euros but when I took it out of the sleeve to check it I felt like killing the guy who sold it to me. Like many of the LPs that I get from Ebay it was in pretty bad condition. Apart from a liberal sprinkling of scratches it also had the track-marks of several bad needles on it.
I suppose that 3 out of every 4 LPs that I get on Ebay go straight into the bin , which means that in real terms those albums that I actually keep are costing me about three times what I paid for them…if you get my drift. If , like me your buying 5 or 6 albums a week this can involved throwing a hell of a lot of money into the bin…..
……..so let the buyer beware…..
The album shown above is quite rare so it’s nice to have a copy in any condition. In fact if someone were to offer me twice what I paid for it I would turn them down , but still ….it’s in dreadful condition….The other side of the coin however is that without Ebay the chances are that I would never have come across a copy in the first place. British jazz of the Hayes period is a specialised maket and a small one at that and the print run for these LPs would have been very small.
One small point while I’m here….This LP would have a catalogue price of something in the region of 25 euros but to buy a mint copy on Ebay you would have to bid up to 500 euros or even more so don’t put too much reliance on the Record Collector Price Guide. It is , as the title says a guide only…..
The Couriers of Jazz London LTZ -L 15188
PS: If anyone out there has LPs like this to sell please let me know.
Ian Brady Moors Murder Yet Another Suicide Bid
February 12, 2008
Ian Brady , the moors murderer is reported to have been storing up pills with a view to killing himself. Suicide , we are told is what he has in mind but as this is the second time he has been found with these pills we have to wonder what it’s all about. After all , he must know from the last time that he could not hide such medicines for any long period of time and besides he could have killed himself several time with the number he had stored in his room.
There are those who claim that it’s all about him looking for attention. That may be true but personally I doubt it’s quite as simple as that. But if that’s all that’s left to a person , if that the only public way they can in some way validate themselves then what’s so wrong about that ? And many would say let him rot in his own private hell , but torture , and that’s what his living death has become , is never justified. Ultimately we have a duty of care to everyone. And especially to those who we call our enemy. None of this is ‘liberal’ hogwash. Showing respect for another’s humanity does not weaken us in any way.
But Brady will die soon. We will see more hate headlines such as greeted the death of Myra Hindley. In time Brady will be forgotten as indeed we will be also. Nothing will have been achieved. No dead children will rise from the grave and no mother’s tears will be magically undone.
